This past weekend I went to see the Banff Mountain Film Festival’s World Tour for the 13th year. It reminded me of sitting in the old theatre in Bozeman, MT where I was relatively new to the outdoor sports world. I felt like I was among strangers but at the same time felt I was among friends. There was a near electric feeling in the air, one of positive energy and good vibes. I felt like I had found my place and my people!
I was most intrigued by Ndizotheka – It is Possible, a film about a 30 year-old guy who had accomplished his dream by this age and was feeling like he had nothing to look forward to. His everyday life seemed dull, he was becoming somewhat depressed, and he didn’t know what to do with his life. One night he had a dream that he was flying kites with children in Africa, and that he met someone who he then taught how to fly via parasail. Phenomenally, he flew to Africa and taught kids how to make and fly kites, and as he was doing so, met a young man whose dream was to learn how to fly. And so went the next 6 weeks of his life.
I can relate to this man. By the age of 34 I too had accomplished my dreams and I had everything I had ever wanted. My life was full of the things I worked for and had dreamed of. I was blissfully happy. I hiked and went bird-watching, snowshoed and traveled, went running and to classes I was interested in. I had great friends and loved my job. And then at age 35, it all started to feel boring and uninteresting. I wanted to do new things, go new places, have experiences unlike anything I had experienced before. But what haven’t I done that I want to do still?
I started to feel stuck, and that is where I have remained for almost a year. In the past year I have set goals for myself and I have achieved those goals without much challenge so yes, that is fantastic and feels great. But I think I need a new goal, one that is a big challenge and I am not sure what that is. I keep looking for an opportunity that will change me, that will make me grow. So I am searching for ideas and inspiration…perhaps I just need to pay attention to what I am dreaming about at night.
Note: This is not a normal The Outside Within post, rather a personal commentary on the state of my life at present which is blocking me from writing new posts. Feel free to make suggestions!